On being and becoming

For those of you who don't know and have never had the misfortune to experience, it stinks being the fat kid at school. You get teased, you get picked last for all the playground games. When you get to high school, forget getting asked to dances. Or anywhere else.
If you're lucky enough not to be shy on top of being fat, you may have a few friends who let you hang around. If not you may find yourself in a group of equally friendless souls...losers all who keep each other company, and form a sisterhood of sorts. A collective identity of misfits who can keep each other afloat in the ugly world of adolescence.
Even knowing that...it's especially horrible as an adult to find that you have been sucked into being "them" into sharing their attitudes. Like when you encourage your own child to compare herself to others...using their negative attributes to make herself feel better.
How wrong is that? Self acceptance that comes at the expense of others is twisted at best.